Culinary Trendsetter Gifts

"Dinner comes complete with coffee and your choice of dessert or an oil painting."

"Ostrich."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"No, we don’t serve ‘organic, local, free-range Spam.’"

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

"Would you like your piranha cutlets now?"

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Haute Chinese

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Fresh pepper?"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Propane ran out.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Solar Range.

F&E Diner. Special. Eggloo. Tink tink. The "Eggloo" is a frozen omelet!

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

Food history: Invention of the doughnut. Why the hole? Always leave them wanting more!

"Call me crazy, but I say we give up on medical research and develop really healthy mac and cheese."

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."