Trendy Eating T-Shirts

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Rap music

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Upper East Side Dog Park

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"What's trending?"

Can I get you another coffee?

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Back To School Supplies.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Avacados

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"

Pop up hell

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."

"Knees peeking out of jeans are sexy, but what would you know?"

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

'These kids today look absolutely ridiculous.'

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

"There's kale in every dish here - buy you don't even taste it."