Food Trend Enthusiast T-Shirts

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Weird shaped bread and a French baguette.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

La Table

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

See you at the farmers market!

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Queen of Quinoa

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Is the MSG local?"

All Natural Nothing

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Thermidor Dali

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"