Food Trend Followers T-Shirts

Big Turmeric

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

Gluten Free Dry Cleaning

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Queen of Quinoa

All Natural Nothing

See you at the farmers market!

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Giraffe Selfie

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Fridge-to-table"

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."