Culinary Trend Follower T-Shirts

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

'...and the dish ran away with the trendier spork.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

All Natural Nothing

"Is the MSG local?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

See you at the farmers market!

Queen of Quinoa

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Spontaneous Kombucha

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Fridge-to-table"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'