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ICE CREAM 137 FLAVORS, 'If you just want plain ice cream, sir, you'll have to sign a vanilla waiver.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Is the MSG local?"

Queen of Quinoa

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Giraffe Selfie

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

Le Gourmet Bistro. Paging Mister Zah, paging Mister Zah. Do we have a Pete Zah here?

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."