Food Trend Tracker T-Shirts

"I wondered what would come after Cajun and sushi."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

La Table

Queen of Quinoa

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

See you at the farmers market!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

All Natural Nothing

"Is the MSG local?"

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Which way up do you want it?"

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'