Food Trend Analyst T-Shirts

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

All Natural Nothing

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

See you at the farmers market!

Queen of Quinoa

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Fridge-to-table"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

The Pumpkin Spice Routes

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Fall is coming, Snickers. We must pumpkin spice everything."

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."