Critiquing Food Trends T-Shirts

"I used to take photos of my meals, but once you've seen one salad..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Queen of Quinoa

All Natural Nothing

See you at the farmers market!

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Fridge-to-table"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

The Pumpkin Spice Routes

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes