Modern Trends Gifts

"Years ago, there was only one Santa Claus. Now because of genetic engineering, there can be lots of them."

"It's linen. It's supposed to wrinkle."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"You were right—I do feel more productive standing."

Altered States

"Mind if I smoke?"

"Darling, I realize Cher has tattoos. The answer is still no.

"I've been meaning to ask him if it's too late to grow a lumberjack beard." "Hear ye, hear ye. The following is out: civility in politics. The following are now in: name-calling and tantrum-throwing. Also in: bullying, mocking, threatening, kicking, beating, stomping and any and all hallmarks of authoritarian movements. Also in: taking selfies while getting bullied, mocked, threatened, kicked, beaten or stomped, and uploading them to YouTube. Uploading them to Facebook is out." "I disagree wi

Love at first bite...

'Oh, c'mon, it'll be fun! Let's all go down and get tattooed and pierced!'

"Boomerlennial."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

A Macaroni in 1772

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Keeping warm.

The Modern Novel.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Old hippie gives peace sign.

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'