Modern Trend Follower Gifts

"I agree, a national conversation on privacy is wait! Yum...I've gotta share these pix!"

Cat selfie

"Iced raspberry low cal semi-skimmed frappucino whipped froth frapuccino latte please!"

"Boss, here's an absentee note from my life coach. Yesterday he benched me."

"No time for 'Selfies' Simkins!"

Selfie Acrobat

'Let's take a shelfie.'

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

"What are you doing?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Giraffe Selfie

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."