Trend Follower Gifts

"The two things that really drew me to vinyl were the expense and the inconvenience."

'and this one's for people who've hurt their wrists wearing too many wristbands'.

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

Put me down for whoever comes out ahead in your poll.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'No, it's not one of those trendy slanted skirts...she's just tucked it into her pants.'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Studies show foods work miracles!

Spot the face-lift.

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Well, I find it intimidating. I mean, any minute they could fall down completely!'

'Eight years old and no mobile!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

Demand for reclaimed barn wood causes wave of new barn construction.

'185,496 views already! Late to the party. Again.'

'I'm worried they'll have some crappy name for us like 'millenials' when we grow up.'

"Vaccinations soar as pfizer releases their seasonal pumpkin spice flavor."

'And for our middle-aged customers, we've developed this orthopaedic backrest.'

Thirty Days to a Fatter Wallet

"But without expensive brand logos all over your clothing, you're just another indiscriminate consumer!"

"Last year it was macrame, this year it's Christianity"

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

"Oh, how sweet. I haven't seen any mother-daughter outfits since the late forties."

"Wow! Why do you have no tattoos?"

Womens dressing rooms.

'I'm de-toxing my bookshelves.'

Final words on gravestones.

"I'm having enough problems with my identity as it is."

"Put that out! It's over. And lose the goatee."

"Sometimes I fear that wheat germ has been lost in the health-food shuffle."

"Thank God, I'm not an individual!"

"I hope your father had missed the latest men'-fashion supplement in the New York 'Times' but - alas - he did not."

"Do we know what we're getting ourselves into with spelt?"

Non-game changers