Trend Following Gifts

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'I'm thinking of going back to a jacket and tie. I'm tired of being in style.'

"Didn't take long for style to come into it, did it?"

"You never really know how boring the sky is till you see it up close."

A teenager is skateboarding on a treadmill.

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Baldo, even though you've done something funny to your hair...it does not change my feeling for you. You're still my handsome nephew...and I still love you as much as before. Even if you've gone crazy in the head."

Fashion Clone

Blondes have more fun!

Competition in the Ladies' Gallery

'What will those kids be wearing next?'

Brandings, piercings and tattoos are old-fashioned and boring. The latest thing is to be in a coma.

"Well, what do you think?"

"For the last time—'Rider' is the birthday boy, 'Laser' is the party venue, and 'Scooter' is the gift we got him."

"That shirt is so last year."

"You know what they say, spend for the job that you want."

"I'd move to Florida if I didn't have so much invested in sweaters."

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"It's no fun wearing my Tintin shirt now that the masses know who he is."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Kensington Fluffies

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie