Modern Life Survivor Gifts

Get Your Head Out Of Your Phone

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Desert Island BBQ

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Generation Ex.

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

Old Yarns

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

The News in Capsule Form.

Danger Quicksand

Garden of Earthly Delights

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.