Modern Love Survivor Gifts

Generation Ex.

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"...until death do you a favor."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'I wish we'd never invented talking — nagging was so much easier to take in sign language.'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

Modern Charm

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

Welcome centre

'Frankly, my dear, you can keep the dam.'

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

Desert Island Wind Farm

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

Desert Island Drone...

"You had me at hell..."

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

Be My P.C.V

"My car is starting to take after my husband-- It's making a lot of strange sounds and strange smells."

"I'm still happy in my marriage, but that may be because Frank went to work one day in 1999 and never returned."

'Trust me - you're funnier without me'

'It looks like our marriage has survived for yet another year, Dear!'

"I remember when these two matched on Hinge, casually retweeted quips on Tweitter, lost each other for a bit, slid into Instagram DMs...and here we are at regular texting and marriage."