Modern Love Survivor Gifts

Generation Ex.

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"...until death do you a favor."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'I wish we'd never invented talking — nagging was so much easier to take in sign language.'

Friday night was always sext night.

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

Modern Charm

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

Welcome centre

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

Desert Island Drone...

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

Desert Island Wind Farm

'Frankly, my dear, you can keep the dam.'

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

"You had me at hell..."

"I remember when these two matched on Hinge, casually retweeted quips on Tweitter, lost each other for a bit, slid into Instagram DMs...and here we are at regular texting and marriage."

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

Be My P.C.V

'It looks like our marriage has survived for yet another year, Dear!'

"My car is starting to take after my husband-- It's making a lot of strange sounds and strange smells."

Get Your Head Out Of Your Phone

'Trust me - you're funnier without me'