Modern Hunter-gatherer Gifts

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

Paleo-to-go

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

'Yeah, I tried 'Open Sesame' ... then I just went at it with a backhoe.'

Drones Unlimited

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

Danger. No phone signal beyond this point

"We've finished the hunting and gathering. Let's invent the vacation!"

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

'...But then I ran across a dead mastodon, and gained it all back!'

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

"I'd really like to retire and spend more time gathering."

'He does all his hunting and gathering on the computer.'

"Aren't you supposed to get rid of the old mobile, when you buy a new one."

"It ain't fox-hunting, but shooting delivery drones comes close."

'Keeping track of our hunting performance in this way will help us raise standards and increase efficiency!'

Modern Rag and Bone Men.

'Showoff!'

Hunter role reversal.