Hunter-gatherers Gifts

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

'His social skills have improved since he lost his job in banking.'

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it'

Paleo-to-go

'Well, Dewey, the world will never be the same. ... the deer have gone nuclear.'

Wall-ruses.

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

'I don't know what it is but those tusks would make beautiful knife handles.'

'Hey, nice gun! What do you hunt with it?'

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

Caveman draws a picture exaggerating his hunting prowess.

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'

'...But then I ran across a dead mastodon, and gained it all back!'

Goldie, go fetch the skunk I just shot!

History's first wake-up call.

Ha-ha, it's true! Hunters are from a faraway place, gatherers are from

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

"To me, nothin' says Christmas like shootin' your own tree."

'A good boss knows his workers by their names. Look, there are 'Hey Dude', 'Yo Man' and 'Mack' followed by 'Sweetheart' and 'Eh buddy'.'