Hunter-gatherers Gifts

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it'

'Well, Dewey, the world will never be the same. ... the deer have gone nuclear.'

Paleo-to-go

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

'I don't know what it is but those tusks would make beautiful knife handles.'

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

Wall-ruses.

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

'Hey, nice gun! What do you hunt with it?'

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

'...But then I ran across a dead mastodon, and gained it all back!'

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'

Goldie, go fetch the skunk I just shot!

Caveman draws a picture exaggerating his hunting prowess.

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

'Come on out and bring your club -- they just took dinosaurs off the endangered species list!'

'A good boss knows his workers by their names. Look, there are 'Hey Dude', 'Yo Man' and 'Mack' followed by 'Sweetheart' and 'Eh buddy'.'

"To me, nothin' says Christmas like shootin' your own tree."