Hunter-gatherer Lifestyle Gifts

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it'

Paleo-to-go

"We've finished the hunting and gathering. Let's invent the vacation!"

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

I'd rather be gathering (cavemen fighting mammoth)

'...But then I ran across a dead mastodon, and gained it all back!'

Caveman draws a picture exaggerating his hunting prowess.

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

Caveman tattoos

'Come on out and bring your club -- they just took dinosaurs off the endangered species list!'

"I'd really like to retire and spend more time gathering."

It's not as sexy as hunting or gathering, but I'm the guy who makes sense of it all.

'It doesn't get any better than this!'

'Keeping track of our hunting performance in this way will help us raise standards and increase efficiency!'

We're at home...we're alone...can't you let the mask slip?