Hunter-gatherer History Gifts

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it'

"Like a lot of Beagles, he's pretty domesticated, but there's still some of the hunter in him."

Paleo-to-go

'Let's take another look at the mugshots.'

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'

'...But then I ran across a dead mastodon, and gained it all back!'

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

Caveman draws a picture exaggerating his hunting prowess.

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

Caveman tattoos

'Come on out and bring your club -- they just took dinosaurs off the endangered species list!'

"To me, nothin' says Christmas like shootin' your own tree."

'He does all his hunting and gathering on the computer.'

It's not as sexy as hunting or gathering, but I'm the guy who makes sense of it all.

"I'd really like to retire and spend more time gathering."

Oh no! If Garg saw me gathering, I'll be the laughing stock of the cave!

'Keeping track of our hunting performance in this way will help us raise standards and increase efficiency!'