Hunter-gatherer Fan Gifts

Caveman draws a picture exaggerating his hunting prowess.

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

'Come on out and bring your club -- they just took dinosaurs off the endangered species list!'

We're at home...we're alone...can't you let the mask slip?

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it'

Football Drinks

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

'...But then I ran across a dead mastodon, and gained it all back!'

History's first wake-up call.

"The fact is I don't know a single damn story about any of them. I just rent the place furnished."

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'

Ha-ha, it's true! Hunters are from a faraway place, gatherers are from

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

'I said 'open sesame' about forty times, and then I just said 'organic cauliflower'.'

Caveman tattoos

"To me, nothin' says Christmas like shootin' your own tree."

Last chance to heckle a Yankee, next 150 miles.

'He does all his hunting and gathering on the computer.'

"I'd really like to retire and spend more time gathering."

It's not as sexy as hunting or gathering, but I'm the guy who makes sense of it all.