Hunter-gatherer Admirer Gifts

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

Gentrification of the Fridge.

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

It had to be you!

'Hey, guys, no 'one for all' tonight.'

'ON GUARD!' 'Touche.'

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

'You two need to get over yourselves and just ask for directions.'

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

Caveman draws a picture exaggerating his hunting prowess.

'...But then I ran across a dead mastodon, and gained it all back!'

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

A Bad Time for John Thomas.

"To me, nothin' says Christmas like shootin' your own tree."

'Come on out and bring your club -- they just took dinosaurs off the endangered species list!'

Caveman tattoos

"I'd really like to retire and spend more time gathering."

It's not as sexy as hunting or gathering, but I'm the guy who makes sense of it all.

Glass Production

Caught their eye.