Modern Home Critic Gifts

"I cant stand all this modern housing."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Early Man Late Man

"Tarzan no want computer."

Daily Routine

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

"AI designed my statue."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

Medical Bracelet

"I medicate first and ask questions later."

A beach has meters.

Pfft! I could do that.

"The building is fully renovated with VR in every unit...let's put these on to view the kitchen."

The Bob Dole Home-Shopping Network

"Power! Power!"

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

"I think our 'Smart TV' might have overheard us..."

"I forgot to call in dead."

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

'Blooming modern houses.'

Kingdom of Heaven- Exact Change Only

Foreclosure.

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."