Modern Home Critic T-Shirts

"I cant stand all this modern housing."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Early Man Late Man

"Tarzan no want computer."

Daily Routine

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"AI designed my statue."

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

Medical Bracelet

The Bob Dole Home-Shopping Network

"I medicate first and ask questions later."

Pfft! I could do that.

A beach has meters.

"The building is fully renovated with VR in every unit...let's put these on to view the kitchen."

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"Power! Power!"

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

"I think our 'Smart TV' might have overheard us..."

Stable conversion for luxury flats.

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"I forgot to call in dead."

Kingdom of Heaven- Exact Change Only

'Blooming modern houses.'

Foreclosure.

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."