Home Design Critic Gifts

'You know I don't like saltboxes!'

"The carpet salesperson was right, a darker colour will hide all manner of sins."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

Town Planning Department

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"First the open floor plan, now this."

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

"We've decided to express our concern for the environment by redecorating."

The Bob Dole Home-Shopping Network

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

'We're going to need more money just to complete the model.'

"The old lady who lives in a shoe is ready for winter."

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

Road Construction Blues.

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

'WHO is the architect here?'

"Your problem seems to stem from an appalling lack of design sense."

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

Foreclosure.

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'Thank heaven's there are no cameras around. This would surely go viral.'

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.