Home Design Critic Pillows

'You know I don't like saltboxes!'

"The carpet salesperson was right, a darker colour will hide all manner of sins."

Kritik's Korner

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

Town Planning Department

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"First the open floor plan, now this."

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

Pillaging For Mom

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

The Bob Dole Home-Shopping Network

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

"We've decided to express our concern for the environment by redecorating."

'We're going to need more money just to complete the model.'

"The old lady who lives in a shoe is ready for winter."

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

Road Construction Blues.

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

'WHO is the architect here?'

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

Foreclosure.

"Your problem seems to stem from an appalling lack of design sense."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.