Modern Family Life Explorer Pillows

This pregnancy thing just isn't working out, Steve - I can't use my laptop!

'Those games are better idea than having them look for out of state license plates.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I was raised in New York and Nancy is from L.A., but we're bringing up the children bicoastal."

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

Mrs. Almighty.

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

"Wet wipe?"

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'Look, dear. Our printer's first words.'

Danger Quicksand

"Don't forget to come back."

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."