Modern Family Life Pillows

"Good night, Mommy. Good night, Daddy."

"Stop fact-checking my story."

"I was raised in New York and Nancy is from L.A., but we're bringing up the children bicoastal."

"Don't forget to come back."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

Hungry child

'Like death by salad.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

True confessions.

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

The No No No's

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'