Modern Fable Fan Gifts

'I can tell you a thing or two about bullying: I too grew up being called an ugly duckling...'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Eat my dust!"

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Fairy tale

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Hare tells tortoise: 'Remembe the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

The tortoise and hare