Mobile Muser Gifts

'Oh, b***ocks! I've left my mobile phone at home.' - 'People will think I'm avoiding their calls.' - '' - 'Later, at home...' - 'You have no new messages.' - 'Oh.' -

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Changing Room Decisions

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

God's map of the universe

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

"But am I happy? Very."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

Cafe Philosophique

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"They're crowdsourcing your session."

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'