Mobile Muser T-Shirts

'Oh, b***ocks! I've left my mobile phone at home.' - 'People will think I'm avoiding their calls.' - '' - 'Later, at home...' - 'You have no new messages.' - 'Oh.' -

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Changing Room Decisions

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

God's map of the universe

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"But am I happy? Very."

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

Cafe Philosophique

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"They're crowdsourcing your session."

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."