Mobile Etiquette Observer Pillows

"Be right with you. I need to take this real quick."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Fear of news.

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

Twitter Suspends Don Junior

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

'Now, our master is always polite and leaves the seat up for us, not like our Mistress...'

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

Politeness opens doors

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

Man Wrapped In Film

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'

"I'd like you two to meet Will and Diane Clampett. Will is the powerful chairman and chief executive officer of a large multinational corporation, and Diane is his passive-aggressive wife."

Mime on invisible phone in restaurant.

Woman searches for a book on 'Zoom Etiquette'.

A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

'It was embarrassing. While I was taking up their cell phones, my cell phone rang.'

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"May I trouble you for a steak knife?"

"You do realize you’re serving with the murder weapon?"

"Sorry, but I didn't switch from unsanitary handshakes to fist bumps just to start group hugging!"