Etiquette Observers Pillows

How awkward. "Bless you" didn't seem right. "Gesundheit" would work ??" but no one wanted to offend the Germans.

Lynching on social media

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

'So are you the wise guy that thinks my food is not good enough to regurgitate and maul between your hands?'

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

'D'you have any salt?'

"All rise."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'I need to take this call... please mumble to yourself.'