Etiquette Enforcers Pillows

"You ain't gettin' on this train until I get off first."

Lynching on social media

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"Hipsters"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'No high dives off the veranda, OK?'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

'Don't get up!'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'