Etiquette Enforcer Pillows

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'Get down on the ground!! DOWN ON THE GROUND!!'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"You know I hate when you check your messages at the table."

Typical 'Faux pas Four'.

"I've warned you about your offensive touching. Keep your hands off your face!"

"Sorry, guys, forgot I was back in the office."

"For persistent coughers."

"Stand up for a lady, or I'll punch your lights out."

"Went that way Officer - bold as bras, out in the street - without a hat!"

"Stop texting. I feel like I'm talking to duck in dark glasses."

'Manners young man! Where's your 'Please'? Let's start again, shall we?'

Cull people who use golf umbrellas in a busy high street.

Human Cull: Cyclists who don't alert pedestrians to their approach on a shared path.

'Say goodnight to Robert. He's not very good at entertaining.'

Please Keep Boots of Mobile Phone Users

A man steps into a spit in front of the lung disease hospital.

"Have you noticed dogs don't try to cover their business anymore, after they do it?"

'I wish you wouldn't talk with your mouth full!'

"Uh-oh, it's the cell phone police."

Hey, what did we tell you? No phone at dinnertime, unless you're soliciting money for our bogus charity.

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

Lynching on social media

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'