Etiquette Enforcer Gifts

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'Get down on the ground!! DOWN ON THE GROUND!!'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"You know I hate when you check your messages at the table."

Typical 'Faux pas Four'.

"I've warned you about your offensive touching. Keep your hands off your face!"

"For persistent coughers."

"Stand up for a lady, or I'll punch your lights out."

"Went that way Officer - bold as bras, out in the street - without a hat!"

"Stop texting. I feel like I'm talking to duck in dark glasses."

'Manners young man! Where's your 'Please'? Let's start again, shall we?'

Cull people who use golf umbrellas in a busy high street.

Human Cull: Cyclists who don't alert pedestrians to their approach on a shared path.

'Say goodnight to Robert. He's not very good at entertaining.'

Please Keep Boots of Mobile Phone Users

A man steps into a spit in front of the lung disease hospital.

"Have you noticed dogs don't try to cover their business anymore, after they do it?"

'I wish you wouldn't talk with your mouth full!'

"Uh-oh, it's the cell phone police."

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

Lynching on social media

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'