"I'm putting you on speaker - it's essential for everyone to hear our conversation."
Social Etiquette Observer Pillows
Add a dash of humor and sophistication to their home with a pillow that celebrates social decorum. Ideal for lounge rooms or reading nooks of the etiquette observer.
'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'
"This seat is reserved for the rest of my legs."
Manspreading
"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"
"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."
Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.
'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'
"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."
"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."
"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."
"How about fashionably never?"
"I'd like you two to meet Will and Diane Clampett. Will is the powerful chairman and chief executive officer of a large multinational corporation, and Diane is his passive-aggressive wife."
'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'
"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"
"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."
"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."
Mime on invisible phone in restaurant.
A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.
'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'
"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."
'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'
"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...
"Be right with you. I need to take this real quick."
"You do realize you’re serving with the murder weapon?"
Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical
Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'
'I'm having the shrimp scampi. How about you?'
"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."
'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'
"How much do you tip your genie?"
Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.
Quilp interupts at tea
"David! It's only trendy to drink beer straight from the bottle!"
A guest departing a party.
Social Etiquette Observer Pillows Collection
Social Etiquette Observer Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs perfect for the social etiquette observer—clever, amusing, and designed to celebrate social graces in style.
Social Etiquette Observer Prints
Decorate their walls with prints that showcase social tact and humor—ideal for those who appreciate the art of good manners.
Social Etiquette Observer T-Shirts
Discover witty t-shirts that suit the social etiquette observer—lighthearted, stylish, and perfect for making a subtle statement about good manners.