Etiquette Explorers Pillows

'Dad, I know we're supposed to hate postmen, but what is the etiquette for couriers?'

"Hold on, some guy is trying to talk me about soup."

"Call me incensitive, but I can’t stand the way it smells."

"I never know what to do with my hands at a party"

'We don't talk about torture at the dinner table!'

"Was that you, you filthy pig?"

Cannibal Moms : "Remember kids, no dessert until you eat all or your vegetarian!"

"You've all been convicted of not answering your texts in a timely manner. After this mandatory class, you will be released back into society."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'