Mobile Etiquette Appreciator Pillows

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

Let's shake on it.

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

"How much do you tip your genie?"

Tip responsibly

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"

Courtesy Wave

A guest departing a party.

"I forgot my phone."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Have you come far?"

"Thanks for the unexpected lift. You can drop me off here. Or here. Or here. Or here."

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."