Etiquette Appreciator Pillows

Courtesy Wave

'Maybe they will let us play through.'

Things one would rather have left unsaid.

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'Death to the government...if you don't mind - awfully sorry!' 'He's of Anglo-French parentage...'

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

Urinal reserved.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'I know it's traditional for someone who scores a hole in one to buy drinks all round. I'm teetotal so it's either tea or coffee...'

'Mom! Barry is not playing with his food before he eats it.'

Tip.

'His first time in prison.'

And treat each other accordingly...

'There's a queue here, Pal.' 'Aye! Get thee behind me, Satan.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'