Etiquette Appreciator Gifts

Courtesy Wave

'Maybe they will let us play through.'

Things one would rather have left unsaid.

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'Death to the government...if you don't mind - awfully sorry!' 'He's of Anglo-French parentage...'

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"

Remember, your cousin's a barn owl - it's not polite to tell him what he smells like.

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

Urinal reserved.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'I know it's traditional for someone who scores a hole in one to buy drinks all round. I'm teetotal so it's either tea or coffee...'

'Mom! Barry is not playing with his food before he eats it.'

Tip.

'His first time in prison.'

'Will 50 suffice, madam?'

And treat each other accordingly...

'There's a queue here, Pal.' 'Aye! Get thee behind me, Satan.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Pardon me, I think you dropped this. Ivy League Football Is Different.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"