Etiquette Enthusiast Gifts

"I thought we had the sort of relationship where 'please' and 'thank you' were implicit."

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'I can never remember. Does the cell phone go on the left or the right?'

'Did you know in some cultures it's considered rude to lick your plate?'

'Excuse me, could everyone be quiet, I'm trying to talk on my cellphone.'

'Yes Jason, you may go to the lavatory, but next time just raise your hand.'

Two Englishmen Who Were Never Formally Introduced.

'It's a memo from our parent company. They remind us to pay attention, quit slouching, take our elbows off the table and to act our age, if it's not too much to ask!'

'That was a very interesting cell phone conversation. Thanks for sharing it with me.'

Deferential equations.

'This isn't third grade, Bob. You can speak.'

'You must close your eyes during grace.'

British culture is deeply impregnated with 'hinting', getting the message across, withot ever 'coming out with it'.

'I start the morning with a warm 'Hello!' then downgrade through the day to a nod until I finally lose eye contact altogether.'

'Think we should ask permission first?'

Trapped in a how-are-you vortex

Tactless Abe

True Humility - Curate's Egg.

The words 'Thank you ' take seconds to say, but mean so much.

'Were you trying to attract my attention, Sir?'

'Not very good netiquette, is it?'

'What's the one little word you've forgotten?'

"Do you want the 10-minute truth, or the 5-second lie?"

'Remember use your museum behavior, not your art gallery behavior.'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"You can't thank Grandmom with a tweet! She deserves the respect of a good old fashioned email."

"Whoops-sorry. That's my porn name."

'It was a complete surprise when the table-setting police arrived. I had no idea I was doing it wrong.'

Queue this way.

From the way you dress to the way you say 'hello' , you will be influencing an inetrviewer's opinion of you...

The Society of Civil Engineers

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

'I think he wants you to be quiet!'

'Hey, pal! — what part of 'please help' don't you understand?'

'Employees eye contact guide'