Etiquette Enthusiasts Gifts

'Woman hits man on head with handbag while he speaks on his mobile phone.'

'Don't talk on the phone with your mouth full.'

'Thag! Put those silly things down! Where are your manners?'

'Forgive Mildred - she's a touch menopausal...'

Guide For Children.

Guest and hostess are honest and rude to one another at a party

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'If you don't ring, you can't come in!'

'We interrupt this program for a report about bad manners.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

Anteater - cover your nose when you sneeze, man.

'Don't chew your food.'

Myth Manners.

'Please be patient sir, this gent was here first.'

'I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones.'

'I wonder why teenagers are always silent around adults. . .'

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Sure he's a crackpot - but it's refreshing to find a polite crackpot.'

"The next table is upset; they ordered Chateau Lafite and all they can smell is Chateau Your Feet."

'I've learned to always stay polite, even when I talk to stupid idiots like you.'

Ever the southern gentleman, General Armistead pauses during battle to inquire if anyone has lost a hat.

"Guys, remember, no feeding frenzy: Leave some for Grandpa to chew on..."

"Come on Hugh, you know you have to wallow in the mud hole before sitting down at the table."

"Oh sure, I can talk now."

"Guys, if you're taking your baby in the living room, please use a coaster."

"Have a good one."

"A fork?! And you call yourself a barbarian?!"

"She's laughing into her elbow. He's farting into his knee."

'Forget Miss Manners - gobble your food!'

"If you're so civilized, why don't you use a coaster?"

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

"Do we kiss these people?"

"They know me here Eddie, so for God's sake, don't start washing your food."

"Hey, the line forms at the fear!"