Social Etiquette Appreciator Pillows

'I always give up my seat for a lady!'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

Let's shake on it.

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

Tip responsibly

"How much do you tip your genie?"

Courtesy Wave

A vampire preferring to use a napkin when sucking blood.

A guest departing a party.

Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.

"Thanks for the unexpected lift. You can drop me off here. Or here. Or here. Or here."

"I forgot my phone."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Have you come far?"

"I got my ticket for three dollars over the Internet. Are you going to eat that salmon?"