Mobile Etiquette Enthusiast Pillows

"I'll be right with you but I have to take this call first."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

"Can I help you?"

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

"You're very courteous for a hog"

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

A guest departing a party.

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"How would you like me to answer that question? As a member of my ethnic group, educational class, income group, or religious category?"

'On The Face Of It.'

"I'm going to tell the Wagners we can't make their party. Is sending a drone in our place proper etiquette?"

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

"All my sophisticated payment apps say the same thing - it's your turn to pay."

"OK, gotta go...hey, why is everyone at my table singing the Hallelujah chorus?"

Did you take the last cup and not make another pot?