Mobile Etiquette Enthusiast Pillows

"I'll be right with you but I have to take this call first."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

"Be right with you. I need to take this real quick."

"Can I help you?"

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

"You're very courteous for a hog"

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

How Dogs Identify Themselves in Upscale Neighborhoods.

'I told you never to Facebook, Bebo, Hotmail, Yahoo, MSN or phone me at work...'

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

Would it be rude if I didn't follow them all back?

A guest departing a party.

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

"How would you like me to answer that question? As a member of my ethnic group, educational class, income group, or religious category?"

His text said, I challenge you to pistols at dawn, and I replied, C U there, and he replied with a thumbs-up emoji – Do I have to reply to that?

''How am I?' Tsk, you people who don't do facebook! I've got to make up a status update especially for you, have I?'

Did you take the last cup and not make another pot?

"All my sophisticated payment apps say the same thing - it's your turn to pay."

"OK, gotta go...hey, why is everyone at my table singing the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

'On The Face Of It.'