Mobile Data Enthusiast Gifts

"Other than exceeding your data plan, everything checks out okay."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

Aggression/Security

Ann suddenly realized that it wasn't her iron that she forgot to turn off, but her cell phone.

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"Profits lately have been spiraling downward."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"And this is another economic indicator."

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."