Digital Data Lover Gifts

'You don't need CDs and flash drives here - everything is stored in the cloud.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Big Data Tonight

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Today's love

Aggression/Security

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"Profits lately have been spiraling downward."

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

She never said "Da-da." She went right to "data."

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"