Data Devotee Gifts

Information

'Your very generous charitable contribution shows up as this very slight blip right here.'

I Heart Data

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

"Like you, I once loved women - then I discovered spreadsheets."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"We stayed ahead of the curve, but it was the wrong curve."

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

"I can offer you an upgrade to our dearer plan with absolutely no benefits to you whatsoever over a two year period!"

"It's not just me - according to this survey, being a scientist just doesn't ring any bells for single women."

"Markets reacted to the news by edging aside kind of awkwardly and then pretending to take a phone call."

"Apparently, our brains are to be stored on the cloud and we are required to pay an annual subscription to access them!"

"This time inflation really mean business."

"All our models point to an uptick in 2021, but after that it doesn't look good for you, Edward."

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Fear/Knowledge

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"You've got computer-breath."

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

Big Data Tonight

"I love your optimism."