Data Devotees Gifts

"I just can't be with someone who won't express their emotions as viable data."

"Sometimes late at night I'm not sure the leading economic indicators know where they're going."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Big Data Tonight

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"You've got computer-breath."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

"I'll never forget you."

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

Aggression/Security

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Today's love