Festive Data Lover Gifts

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Big Data Tonight

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Snowman

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

The New Year's Dance

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

She never said "Da-da." She went right to "data."

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"Markets reacted to the news by edging aside kind of awkwardly and then pretending to take a phone call."

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

'Your very generous charitable contribution shows up as this very slight blip right here.'

Christmas Dwarves

I Heart Data

Likes Charts Likes Pie

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.