Mob Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'See I told you! Nobody joins and angry, vengeful mob carrying a solar garden light!'

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"We need rain."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Cars.

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

Hits Needed, please click.

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"Where does it say I can't take the law into my own feet?"

'You'll have to give up wine and women. You can sing, but only Julie Andrews numbers.'

The Only Orchestra In the world with a Mime.

"You talkin' to me?"

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

"You're my top enforcer, Donahue, but I have to let you go. The word on the street is cultural appropriation."

'What's my husband like? -- Just imagine Tony Soprano without any money.'

Boy Plays Flute With Backside

Chugger

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

Awful Alternate Histories.

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."